So, we're having a kid

A little over two years ago, I said something bold. I said I wouldn’t bring a child into this world so long as the current individual serving as President of the United States held office. And I meant it. Many of the terrible things I imagined happening on that November night have, in fact, come to pass. I still harbor anxieties and fears about the country and world a kid born in 2019 will inherit. The two little lines that appeared on that First Response pregnancy test in late October didn’t change that.

But what has changed are my feelings of powerlessness in the face of those fears. I now feel, surprisingly strongly, that raising a child – my child, Dan’s child – might be the best thing I can do to try to make the world a better place.

I may not be able to reverse the steady march of climate change threatening the planet, but we can raise a son who respects and understands science and what it teaches us, who respects and understands the delicate nature of our national resources, and who will do his best to reduce his impact on them.

I may not be able to reduce the rise of racism, nationalism, and xenophobia in the United States, but we can expose our son, early and often, to people who don’t look like him, sound like him, or believe like him; to recognize that he’s been born with privileges that most others can only dream of; and to have empathy for others in struggle.

I may not be able to stop the epidemic of domestic violence and sexual harassment in our society, but we can teach our son, early and often, about the clear meaning of the word “no” and the sanctity of affirmative consent; how to recognize when others show signs of being abused; and to believe and support survivors who choose to come forward.

I may not be able to stop the discrimination and violence that members of the LGBTQI community face, but we can make sure our son knows that humanity doesn’t change based on your sexual orientation or gender identity; that our shared humanity demands respect; and if he follows a non-gender-norm path, we will support and love him for who he chooses to be.

I may not be able to solve our society’s worsening anger management problems, but we can try to teach him the importance of listening, understanding, and debating without disrespecting (and maybe teach ourselves some things along the way).

Am I still terrified of the prospect of parenting in this day in age? You bet your ass I am. But if, in the end, I’m molding someone who will contribute to world’s progress rather than be crushed by its problems … I think I’m up for that.